The weather in So Cal is crummy today. It’s a bit humid which is sooooo outta the norm for us. And I hate it personally. We’ve had a fantastic summer weather wise here in OC. Usually about 80 degrees. It’s made working out awesome. Today – not so much. I got on the treadmill to run, haven’t ran in a little over a week. I’ve done some other treadmill workouts but not my 5k training in too long. It was crummy today. Used my inhaler and all, knowing with the slight humidity my lungs would be planning a revolt against me. And boy did they. I did manage to finish the run but it was not pretty.
Days like this make me so hard on myself. Most days I’m a huge cheerleader for team Jaymie 
but I am so easily also my worst enemy. I know my limitations are higher than I’d like them to be. In my head I feel like health wise I should be able to run to the moon and back. Most days I feel freaking fantastic. Then when I’m on the treadmill having a rough run all I can think is “what’s going on? Why are you sucking so much today? you’re never gonna run a 5k at this pace!” and so on. I see the results in the mirror and in my clothes and in the photos taken, and I know the results are huge and promising, but sheesh, sometimes it’s harder to be positive. I’d love overnight results. Heck, wouldn’t we all?!? I am realistic that the way I’ve done this so far is the healthiest way, and the way to also stay successful long term. That is obviously the long term goal – keep the weight off and be healthy and feel great.
I have to keep reminding myself that I’ve come quite a distance. I’ve worked my tail off to be where I am. And I’ve still enjoyed myself. I am not suffering, I am still enjoying life to the fullest not living in some awful diet. I am doing things I used to dream of doing. Workouts I never thought I’d be able to do. But I do want more. I guess in some ways that’s healthy. If I just become complacent with this success I’ll never get further. I just need to find a healthy balance between cheerleader and enemy. I definitely have self-induced guilt issues that keep me on track.
Off to the pool to cool off and swim some laps in the process.
